| Sunday, March 12th, 2006 |
| 8:20 pm |
I was kinda attached to it
Phantom pains in parts that are no longer there. Reminds me of having my feelings hurt. i can't understand the pain the toe is gone. The first piece to crumble from this already cracked statue. The toe was infected it had to be amputated. I have a flesh combover to make the nub look longer. Still, even with the shoes I can feel the stares and giggles. Mostly i'm sad that one little piggy will never eat roast beef again. |
| Sunday, December 4th, 2005 |
| 11:47 am |
Unrequited love
Loved?- Little does it matter Tis divine to be in love Tis nothing to be loved Feel not neglected Feel not injustice Lest the injustice lest the injustice is for the reciever They take all for granted They do not know why they live Hollow emptiness weighed against a heavy heart The loved one merely holds the spoils Of the feelings overflowing The wealth of love you own to give The lover has it all The loved has none without you If you have enough then give and let them take Not to have a heart at all Is less than having one to break After all it means you have one there Poor are the loved; they don't even have a care |
| Friday, October 21st, 2005 |
| 11:33 pm |
run from psychics they can't really find you
Recently I accidentally came into contact with a "psychic" who's mother had never taught them that if you don't have anything nice to predict than don't predict anything at all. She chose to speak to me and inform me that apparently I am just reeking of dark energy. When I asked her how she continued to mention suicide and tragedy in love i considered this oddly accurate but still considered it rude of her to bring up the subject since she knows nothing about the circumstances or of the people involved. She wanted to help merelease the dark presence surrounding me and why i am binded to negative feelings as well of a string of misfotune. Whatever lady I gotta go. how ever this food for thought was hard to swallow so i chewed on it, pondered and research into it as far as i cared to. let me just give this warning: WHORES BEWARE OF SOULTIES!!! |
| Thursday, September 29th, 2005 |
| 3:55 pm |
lowered expectations
apologys for only posting in depression. I am the great procrastinator. September is the month of let downs. Guess I'm still a bit bitter about the whole crippled thing. Other sorrows left unmentioned. I am a let down. Examine my life and feel better about yourself. Some college kids were hazing with water. That's how I found out a person can drown from the inside. |
| Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 |
| 12:05 am |
Brain Farts and Ugliness
drink drank drunk think thank thunk plip plop plunk write rot runk last in the special olimpics. visited a dentist. "son, be a dentist... you have a talent for giving things pain." early words of wisdom from his mama. Your mama says her mother's day gift sucks. next year get her the gift that lasts.... a coffin. Naw just kidding luv ya ma. However I was dissapointed in you and g=mas reactions in the mother's day gifts i got you. If only they knew. should have got a card for the same reactions. going to huntsvegas tomorrow. gotta see my doctor. getting sued by a drunk for being hamdicapped ain't that some shit. poor retards aren't allowed to drive on the streets with drunks about. I'll explain. Got hit by a drunk driver on January 2nd this year. and now he wants to say the accident is my fault because I'm handicapped. That's right. Drunk hits handicapped girl and presses charges who here is retarded? Be-otch I'm handi-strapped don't get hani-capped bullshit forever and ever amen... later emily |
| Wednesday, April 27th, 2005 |
| 3:19 am |
guilt keeping you up?
hello friends today was as fucked up as any other day. my new car broke down. can't sleep. well i might be able to if i'd stop. but i won't. wonder if i even could. i don't really want to. this kills my mind. do some more. i hate trees that tree should be chopped down. uprooted from the ground. no one hears trees scream. if gun-blasts don't make sounds. my hands are always bloody. all because you loved me. saying too much. goodbye. |
| Friday, April 15th, 2005 |
| 11:04 pm |
Hello
Hey any one I know reading this give me a call. Emily |
| Saturday, February 21st, 2004 |
| 12:09 pm |
What a Wonderful Life
Feeling morbidly depressed and thus inspired to write what's up fuckers? read and waste your time on this come on lets all pull a flanel out of the closet and listen to some nirvana and wish we were dead... Don't you just hate yourself? SUICIDE could be the answer you've been waiting for! Suicide can be an easy and effective method for relief from the stresses of life. My suicide workshop is a "how to" for beginners or those who have had trouble completing their goals in the past. Taking advantage of my system takes the hassel out of killing yourself. The kit includes personalized notes to family members, friemds, as well as that special someone letting them know that you care enough to include them in your final thoughts. These letters also serve to assure loved ones that you're sorry for hurting them. Enclosed in my book and bonus kit are methods of death that appeal to just about everyone. Wether your intrested in: quick, slow, clean, messy, private, attention getting,painful or excentric forms of ending it all. Why for just one easy payment of $100 (totally refundable) you too can have these benificial tips so that you no longer have to deal with lifes obstacles, stress, pain, or bullshit ever again. WARNING: suicide is not for everyone serious risks include death, near death, possible retardation and causes certain sufferage, sadness, insanity, and grief to family and loved ones. This company makes no claims that all of your pain won't follow you beyond this lifetime to torture you throughout eternity until all is nothing nor does it take any responsibility for the reader's own stupidity. fuck it right it's fucking you well it's sunny here in georgia peace out emily |
| Monday, April 14th, 2003 |
| 8:28 pm |
wuz up lj fans haaa... sitting over at my favorite friend's the one and only boobie lee says i gotta update my choice post or die visiting from georgia huntsvegas never changes seems like nothing ever does or maybe changee is jusst to slow in the happining that noone seems to noticce miss eveeeryone here seeing new boy joe:) what a sweetheart thats a good change not much to say at moment maybe i'll post again someday in the distant future umm later emily |
| Sunday, January 5th, 2003 |
| 11:25 pm |
hello lj long time no write. just got to town today hang'n at bobbies crib yyoour friendly doctor along with your trusty pharmaeutical company has a fix for that a.d.d. sso sstay up and do lj stop believing theres anything else out theere. nothing to wwrite waste my time. feeling sstraange anxious and seddaated all in one what's tto enjoy about this nothing and alot think i need to sstop thinking thinnk i need a friend or a holiday or a new puppy i demand satisffaction fading memories of when life was fun wwith out i complain too much eveerything is cool happy happy i need nothing and more of it |
| 11:25 pm |
hello lj long time no write. just got to town today hang'n at bobbies crib yyoour friendly doctor along with your trusty pharmaeutical company has a fix for that a.d.d. sso sstay up and do lj stop believing theres anything else out theere. nothing to wwrite waste my time. feeling sstraange anxious and seddaated all in one what's tto enjoy about this nothing and alot think i need to sstop thinking thinnk i need a friend or a holiday or a new puppy i demand satisffaction fading memories of when life was fun wwith out i complain too much eveerything is cool happy happy i need nothing and more of it |
| Monday, October 7th, 2002 |
| 10:56 pm |
Never went to sleep last night been awake a really long time this morning when i went to the bus station it was full of crazies a retarded woman from hong kong(so she said) was cuddling a cricket doll from the 80's calling it her baby she said she wanted to have another baby but her husband can't have kids and that she has other babies that drink and wet and cry but that they're staying with her sister while she's away etc. she went on and on needless to say i was really happy to see traci step off that bus we are both delirious from lack of sleep it's been at least forty hours awake time and feels funny i'm really beginning to enjoy this feeling but all good things must end try to nap but i keep having a reoccuring nightmare of my teeth falling out felt like a mouthful of broken sea shells it was trully terrifying i will brush before bed |
| 1:50 am |
it's late and i have to be at the bus station at 6:30am to pick traci up but if i don't make a habbit of writing everyday then i will stop writing all together though i feel silly owell it's not easy being cheesey so it's not easy being me who needs sleep it's only a waste of life besides i waste enough of my life as it is talked to bobbie today told me some scarey fucked up shit that happened in her home last night can't understand people sometimes not much to say today goodnight |
| Sunday, October 6th, 2002 |
| 1:47 am |
you know if some people died no one would miss them and this makes me think maybe i should though the fat be thick and difficult for the stabbing i know of at least 5 who would greatly benefit from a certain some ones untimely death. normally i am a very gentle person hell i don't even eat meat well with the exception of chickens for which i feel no compassion due to their rabbit killing ways (god bless you skooter). gentle but the urge to kill grows stronger hatred can prove hard to contain even as you fight it and try to be nice it leaks from the place in your brain reserved to confine it and drowns the annoying voice of reason once and for all and thats when i'll run into you at the grocery store and beat you with a blunt object a frozen ham-hawk seems appropriate. die you ignorant fat bitch! sorry i failed to mention whore. Anyhoo besides that today was ok my friend traci is going to visit me from texas i've missed her but her husbands a mortician(a very nice one) and i guess there just weren't enough people dying here so they had to move where the work is more steady. though i haven't seen her in over a year we've stayed in close contact i can't wait for her to get here well i'm getting sleepy later |
| Friday, October 4th, 2002 |
| 9:04 pm |
ok here i am bobbie sharing private feelings and such entering the strange world the last stragler to reluctanly climb onto the bandwagon heading straight forward to livejournal land now everyone can see my deepest feelings at least those that i'm willing to let people read don't expect anything special i'm just an average girl with a vice and a crutch and i mean that more literally than most so what happened today woke up at 7am to make it to my 3hr long friday morning class i was hung over and half asleep but i made a 100 on my ethics and society test which feels good considering i flunk both concepts outside of class then i helped grandma redecorate afer that i hung out with ryan and tried to help council him through yet even more baby mama drama the bitch is rediculus but thats too much to go into all at once and besides this is my live journal damn it it's supposed to be about me there will be plenty more to complain about in the future although i try not to feel too sorry for myself it's kind of hard when you're crippled i would throw a pitty party but i doubt anyone would show up so here's a sad poem i stare at the tv but i don't watch it had remote control till i lost it need to clean the bones from my closet so i can sleep at night with out the tv light but look in the mirror and all i see is a souless clone who acts like me consuming drugs as a main life force my body and mind had a messy divorce they broke up at the spinal cord now my legs are really bored leaving me limping toward ultimate harm with three broke legs and one left arm that just about sums up how i feel today and other days when i have time to think about these things and isn't this what a journal is for releasing inner anguish(ang'-gwish)n. acute pain of body or of mind; grief; anxiety; moral torment. yup that's the proper word alright and damn it i spent so much time at my pitty party that i burnt my vegie burger but thats ok let this be a lesson next time i go off on a tangent turn the stove off |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
elimleemily's journal